Take it One Day at a Time

I do not know how many times I would think of Dorie and her keep on swimming quote. Anytime things started to feel like they were going to fall apart I would walk around saying "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" to myself. Along with that I posted in my office "Worry about today only."  At the beginning there was so much going on I could not focus on the task at hand.  I was worried about keeping the house, how to pay all the bills? Is she going to take me to the cleaners? Should I get a lawyer? There were other things that I have since forgotten, but it was amazing how much my brain could think about but not accomplish anything.  I was exhausted and tired, and was on the brink of a major breakdown. 

Eventually I could not handle it anymore, I knew I had to do something to start to move forward.  Being a Christian I turned to my Bible to try to understand how to begin to handle this. In Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus talks about not being anxious about anything, that tomorrow has enough to worry about just worry about today.  Eventually that passage took hold and I started to take one day at a time. 

First major step I took was getting a lawyer, your situation might not be the same as mine but for me I needed to have someone else to handle all the legalities.  It was not my intention to do battle with her, I just could not function at work trying to figure out all the legalities of a divorce.  Between child support, getting the house in my name, or any other aspect I just wanted to ensure everything was done correctly.

Speaking of child support, men do not try to skirt out of this.  I had mine cut a little because I am taking care of a step child.  Again this is more of acting with integrity and showing your children that no matter how hurt you are you can do the right thing.  Also, make sure to have it taken out of your check and have everything recorded in the courts.  Do not write checks to her and then give it to your child to give to her.  Remember they are children and do not need to be involved in your divorce. 

There were so many things that have happened in the last eight months that taking it one day at a time was the best thing I could do.  I still walk around some days saying "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming".  I also made the decision I am not making any huge decisions until I have been through a finalized divorce for a year and since my divorce is not final as of yet the clock has not even started. 

If these posts are helping anyone I would love to hear it, would love to hear your story (please no trashing of your ex here).  I know the more that I have let myself talk about my story in a healthy way the more I heal.  Also, if you like these posts please follow my blog as I will continue to share little nuggets that may help on your journey.