Enjoy the Ride

These last few months have been a roller coaster of a ride.  There have been great days, meh days, and then I don't want to move or breathe days.  Not until just recently have I been able to start enjoying the ride.  I now realize that the bad days are getting shorter and they help to bring me to total healing.

Part of this healing is coming to the realization that the single life is not as bad as I thought it would be.  I can do things when I want, how I want, and where I want to do them.  One of my passions is the great outdoors, be it fishing or hunting.  When I was married I gave up a lot of those passions in order to help support the family and also to spend time with my wife.  I no longer have to do this. I still have to support the family, I just do not have to pour as much energy in that as I used to.  As I pursue my passions my kids have become more interested in what I like to do.  This is helping them to become more rounded human beings.

Another huge step forward in healing was to start to dream on my own.  As you know if you have gone or are going through divorce the shattered dreams are the hardest to overcome.  I went to work everyday knowing what it was my ex and I dreamed of for the future; be it future vacations, the house we wanted to buy eventually, or the next vehicle.  These dreams were all there and etched into my brain.  After she first left I still clung to those dreams hoping to fulfill them.  As I continued to heal I realized that these dreams were not fully mine; they were ours, and that in order to heal I needed to have dreams that were mine.  These dreams look nothing like the dreams I had with my ex.  In fact these dreams do not have another person other then my children in them.

This is the key to healing, to be comfortable with being single.  Without going into a long tirade, our culture has relationships all wrong.  We put such a huge emphasis on finding your "soulmate" and to have a family we forget that it is perfectly fine to be single for a season.  In fact the season might end up being a lifetime, but being single does not mean you are alone.  The Bible talks about it is not good for man to be alone, it does not say it is not good for man not to be married. In fact Paul talked about for some men it is better to not be married in order to do more for the gospel.  I look at my life as I have been married, now divorced, and now is the time to be single for awhile if not for the rest of my life. I will never be alone.  Between having children, friends, and a church family there will always be someone in my life.

The ride you are on is going to be full of ups and downs, twists and turns.  There will be days that everything is flipped upside down.  Through it all though remember you are not alone on this journey, yes, you are single now.  Yes, you will have to realign your dreams to what you want.  This is a time of tremendous  growth if you will allow it to happen.  Enjoy the ride, allow the pain to teach you to be tougher and to grow into the man God made you to be.